So, I feel compelled to share Violet's birth story on this little blog that I never post on anymore- simply because I prowled the internet for birth stories like a ravenous beast when I was pregnant. Therefore, I feel that I owe it to the interwebs and all in it. Get ready for the longest birth story of your life. I'm not sparing any details. If you make it through this, God bless you.
Cramping (pre-labor) started on the night of April 24th and lasted pretty much all day the next day, her due date. I began having irregular contractions, but they were definitely painful. Friday, the 26th, was when it really all began. I started having contractions 3-5 minutes apart, and David and I walked around the complex across from our house to time the contractions and try to make labor progress faster. This was maybe 4 ish in the afternoon. The contractions got more painful and had been lasting consistently for about 2 1/2 hours, so around 6:30 we headed to the hospital. We checked into triage and a nurse hooked me up to a machine to monitor my contractions. She checked me and I was only 1 1/2 cm dilated, so we waited an hour to see if I would dilate to at least a 3, and if not they would send us home. When she came back to check after the hour was up I was still at 1 1/2 cm. I wanted to cry! In fact, I think I did. Anyway, the nurse told us she wouldn't be surprised if the baby came within 24 hours, and that it could even be within the next few hours- "With first babies you just never know." So, we walked the walk of shame back to the parking lot and went to get food at Costa Vida. By the time we got home it was about 9:30.
I was so sad and disappointed that that night was not going to be the night, and proceeded to eat my feelings via a massive burrito, even though I had the strangest gut feeling that I shouldn't eat.
...I should have listened to that feeling, guys.
By 10:00 my contractions took a turn for the worst and I was literally crippled by them. I stood in the bathroom leaning against the counter for a good 10 minutes screaming David's name, but he couldn't hear me over the TV show he was watching. I swear, during those ten minutes I probably could've killed that man for not coming when I called, damn it! He finally heard me and rushed in- the look on his face was quite funny looking back, but at the time it wasn't, of course. He was pretty terrified seeing how much pain I was in, poor guy. It didn't help that I was bleeding everywhere. Sorry, tmi? Anyway, he leapt into action and started timing the contractions for me with the contraction app on my phone. We tried to do some of the labor exercises we had practiced in our birth class, but honestly I was just annoyed by them and wanted to be left to my own devices to deal with the pain. I got in the shower and let the hot water run over my lower back, which was very effective. I was definitely a vocal laborer, moaning and "ouch" ing awkwardly. That was one of my secret fears when we would watch birth videos in our birthing class; when a woman was extra "screamy" and "moany"I would cringe in my seat and pray it didn't happen to me. I know David felt uncomfortable, because, hell, I felt uncomfortable hearing myself. I should say though that I wasn't really that bad, compared to some of the women on the videos. Moving on.
After about a half hour I got out of the shower. Contractions were coming 1-2 minutes apart and I started feeling like I wasn't getting a break inbetween a lot of them, like they were doubling or something, which made it hard to time them. All I knew was that it was the kind of pain everyone talks about- the kind that "stops you in your tracks."By 11:30 David said that we should go to the hospital again. I was reluctant in my silly pregnant brain because I was absolutely terrified of getting sent home again when I was in this kind of pain. However, several contractions later I was donezo. By this time it was around midnight, and David proceeded to gather all of our bags and essentials for the hospital and put them in the car. I mosied across the house to the garage, stopping every 1-2 minutes for a contraction. The car ride was pretty rough. I kept feeling like I was going to puke at the peak of every contraction (no thanks to my emotionally compulsive massive burrito consumption). I should tell you the significance of this though, because I haven't thrown up since 9th grade. I refuse to throw up, ever. Like, I'm really paranoid about it and will do ANYTHING to prevent it. So, here I am in labor, feeling like I'm about to spill my guts on the longest car ride of my life, and I'm still trying to prevent it. And it worked apparently, because I managed to contain that godforsaken burrito.
We arrived at the hospital once again, and David dropped me off and went to park the car. We got checked in again and into triage, which was much more dramatic this time around. The nurse checked me during a contraction (which was probably the most painful part of labor, hands down) and I was STILL at a 1 1/2 cm!!!!!!! Oh my god, I couldn't believe that after all that pain, no progression was made. at. all. But they weren't about to make me go home, because they could see how much pain I was in and noted that my contractions were, indeed, coming right on top of each other. The nurse kept saying how good I was doing at breathing through them and asked me if I wanted my epidural or if I wanted to wait, and I looked at her with what I'm sure was the most hideous, mascara-streaked, "... are you serious?" face, and she swiftly brought me a wheelchair to be admitted to a room. We got to our delivery room about 20 minutes after we arrived at the hospital, and within 45 minutes of being there I got my epidural. I had been absolutely terrified of the epidural my entire pregnancy, and I am here to tell you it was literally nothing. I felt a pinch and some pressure. The hardest part about it was having contractions during it, because it does take a while to get it in just right. But seriously, it saved my life. Plus, it was a "walking epidural," which means I was still able to feel some sensation in the lower half of my body. I kept laughing when I would see that I was having a contraction that was literally off the chart on the monitor, and David asked me why I was laughing. I replied in the most euphoric of states, "Because ten minutes ago I was their bitch, but now they're my bitch."
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| my "bitches" |
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| sipping my water, looking enormous |
They put me on pitocin to speed up the dilation/effacement process. We tried to get some sleep and told our friends/family that we were officially checked in, I was comfortable, and this was the real deal!! (:
At 3 a.m. the nurse came in to check me and I was at 3 cm dilated! YAY! My excitement was a little short lived, though. She checked me every 2-3 hours after that, and each time I was still a 3. By 11 a.m. my doctor came to break my water, which was a very strange sensation. There was meconium (baby poo) in the amniotic fluid, which is never a good thing. Throughout the last month and a half or so of my pregnancy, the doctor had been telling me that she was a big baby ( estimated to be 9 pounds at the end) and that I was at higher risk of a C-section because of my abnormally high level of amniotic fluid. He said that we'd wait a few more hours to see if I showed significant progression- he really wanted to give my body a chance to give birth naturally, and as eager as I was to meet my baby girl, I was very grateful for that. He gave me a deadline: if by 4:00 p.m. I was not dilated to at least a 6, a C-section would be the only way to go. Those were the most anxious hours of my life, just waiting for something to happen. Four o'clock rolled around at last, and, alas- I was still only dilated to a 3, which means I had been stuck at a 3 for a total of 13 hours, and had been in labor for a total of 23 hours. Can you imagine if I never would have gotten the epidural??!! I don't even want to think about it. So, it was time for a C-section, and I got really, really nervous. David got dressed up in a spaceman scrub suit, trying to make me laugh at how ridiculous it was. They rushed my family and David's family out of the room and prepped me for surgery. They upped my dose of epidural to the point where I couldn't feel anything below my ribs (a bit of foreshadowing here- note, BELOW my ribs). David and I had to be separated for a bit so they could fully prep me, so he kissed my forehead and told me everything would be okay.
They wheeled me into the surgery room. I remember there being bright lights everywhere, and it was really cold. I didn't like it one bit. I kept getting the shakes really bad, from nerves and my contractions, and they kept telling me to relax but it was damn near impossible. They spread my arms out, Jesus style, and lifted me onto the surgery bed. They put up a screen and a blanket that hung above my neck so that all I could see was the blaring white light above my head. Finally David was able to come in, and he sat in a chair next to me and held my hand. They started cutting, and I remember trying not to look above me because I could see what they were doing in the relflection of the light. Within 2-3 minutes it was time to pull her out! David was filming at this point. She was stuck under my ribs on the left side, and the doctor began pushing down on my ribs REALLY hard- it felt like he was breaking them. He did this multiple times, and each time I was trying not to pass out from pain- (wasn't I supposed to NOT feel pain??!) I honestly couldn't breathe. The doctor was apparently having a really hard time getting her out; David told me later that he put down the camera because he saw the panicked look on the doctor's face, and all the nurses were just standing there wide eyed. Finally, I felt him lift her out of me; all the nurses erupted in a chorus of "oh my goodness, what a BIG girl!" and I heard my sweet girl cry for the first time. I couldn't really enjoy the moment though because of the horrible pain I continued to feel in my chest/ribs (my ribs are still tender 3 weeks later).
They brought her over to my side of the curtain and the first thing I noticed was her big, beautiful lips! I was laughing and crying with immeasurable joy and pain at the same time. I couldn't believe my girl had arrived. (: The first thing I said to David was, "Well, she definitely looks like you!" They weighed and measured her; the final verdict being 9.3 pounds, 20 inches long. Her head was 15 inches around (a normal newborn's head is 12 inches) and the doctor said that even if by some miracle I had managed to get her head out vaginally, there was NO way her shoulders would've fit, and it would've resulted in an emergency C-section anyway.
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Meeting my Violet. (: (I really wish someone would've tamed that weird scruff of hair?!) David and Violet went to another room to get her cleaned up while they stitched (glued, rather) me up, which seemed to take forever seeing as I wanted to see my baby! I just remember feeling so relieved that she was here, and all the worrying and scary unknowns were over. I finally got reunited with my two loves in the recovery room, and the rest is history. (:   You've been part of me forever, little one.  (: |
